Just take the fall….

So… shortly after I broke my ankle, RollerCon happened. I hadn’t bought a pass because, obviously, I knew it wouldn’t do me too much good. But, I did go to the convention and enjoy the massive Derby Wedding (a MUST attend if you go to RollerCon. It’s AWESOME!). While I was there I had the chance to talk to a lot of skaters and of course, as someone new to the world of Roller Derby, I had a lot of questions. I had the perfect conversation starter for any situation. My hands free crutch! I have a toddler to chase around, crutches were NOT working for me, and the walker I had after I got out of the hospital was even worse. The iWalk is a hands free crutch and it is one of the greatest inventions I have ever had the pleasure of using. Seriously, everywhere I went people would want to talk to me. Especially at RollerCon. As I would “walk by” someone being pushed in a wheelchair by someone or someone struggling on crutches to keep up with their friends. Stares of bewilderment and amazement. I even had an Orthopedic Surgeon from Canada ask if he could take a picture. So if you’re curious, here it is http://iwalk-free.com/

So, when skaters would come up to me to ask about my handy dandy crutch, I would ask them one simple question… “How do you avoid falling backwards?” You know, because one of the first rules of falling in Derby is to fall ‘forward’. That’s what knee pads, elbow pads and wrist guards are for, right? We’re always told to “fall forward”. I’ve seen it before, I know it doesn’t always work that way. People fall on their butts. Skaters get epic bruises on their backsides from falls and some even fracture a tailbone every now and again. There is no way to totally avoid a backwards fall, I get it! There’s no way to avoid falling…. period. The best advice I got from all of the skaters I spoke with was almost the same every time. “Take the fall. Just take the fall. Don’t fight it, just fall.” I know skaters that are terrified of falling because they’re even more terrified of getting hurt. Well, every time they fall, they’re the ones that end up getting hurt. Why you ask? Because they’re fighting the fall. I fought my fall big time! It won.

When I finally got back on skates (Three months and three weeks later. Thank you very much Herbalife supplements and physical therapy!) I was anxiously awaiting my first fall. I knew it was coming, and I was ready. It happened and guess what, I got right back up. Then it happened again, and I got up again. Sure, it hurt. Sometimes it really hurt! But every time, I was able to get back up. Don’t get me wrong, falling backwards still kinda freaks me out, especially when I see someone else falling backwards. The most important thing I learned while finishing out Boot Camp was to take the advice of all of the seasoned skaters I talked to during RollerCon. “Just take the fall…”. Will you look like an idiot, probably. Will it hurt, most likely. Will you survive, definitely! So, my advice to Fresh Meat… learn how to fall properly, don’t fight it, and learn the rules too. Always learn the rules! But that’s just the referee in me talking now…

Eat Nails, Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!

“Eat Nails, Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!” That was our nightly huddle chant after practice when I first joined the Fresh Meat Boot Camp of the Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls.
I went to my first Roller Derby Bout in January 2012. It was the Season 7 opener. I was hooked. I immediately decided that I was going do Roller Derby before the bout was even over. I was scared, I was excited, I filled out and deleted the online interest form at least ten times. I went to another bout, this time I actually talked to a skater. I found out that the next boot camp was coming up soon so I HAD to fill out the online interest form if I didn’t want to miss out. A few more bouts and then I finally got the e-mail. They scheduled the intake meeting and the on skates evaluation. Time to gear up! Well, I made through and the adventure began.
My first boot camp started out with over 30 girls! It was crazy. After the first month, we dwindled down to about 25. Then it happened……..
I broke my freakin’ ankle! No, I don’t even have a cool story. I fell, yes, I just lost my footing and fell! See, boring and not exciting at all. I was so determined and so driven that even while I was laying in a hospital bed after surgery to implant a plate and 11 screws into my ankle, I was thinking about skating again. I never missed a practice, okay, I missed two. Hey, I was in the hospital! What do you want? I watched girls that couldn’t even think about doing a crossover when we started, progress into amazing skaters. It pained me sometimes to sit there and watch everyone move on without me but I still didn’t want to miss a thing. I was still determined. The boot camp finished and 21 girls passed the skills test and moved onto getting drafted by teams. I was happy for all of them, but I couldn’t wait to catch up.
Another boot camp started and I was still gimping around. Another surgery to remove one of the screws and I was cleared for full weight bearing. Three months and three weeks after I broke my ankle….. I was back in skates. Physical therapy was going great and my Doctor cleared me. Granted, I could not do half of the stuff I could do before the break but I was just thrilled to be back on the track.
I jumped right back into the current boot camp, it felt amazing. I took my time and tried not to push myself too hard. After a while, we finally got to the good stuff. The hitting! A lot of the girls were more concerned about my ankle than I was. Nobody wants to be the one to re-injure a skater. When I realized that some girls were holding back on me, I started thinking….. I don’t want anyone to ‘take it easy’ on me, where’s the fun in that? I was giving it all I got, okay, maybe not all but I was doing my damnedest. I started thinking, “How can I still skate without getting the crap beat out of me just yet?” And there it was, the answer. The rules changed. The WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) revised the rules for Flat Track Roller Derby. I decided to spend a season as a referee. What better way to learn the new rules than by enforcing them?!? I get to skate without being ‘intentionally’ hit. So far, being a Ref has been tough but fun. I finished out boot camp and passed my skills test (Yay!) I’ve only been refereeing our closed scrimmages since I still have so much to learn but I am still loving every minute of it!

Amy Farrah Foul-Her

Next Month: Just take the fall….

Chloroform Cupcake In Training

It’s pretty much almost time. Time to keep pushing forward and focused on the goal.  Tonight’s practice is going to be interesting.  It’s been said to be a mock skills test.  Granted, it sounds intimidating, but I am really stoked if this happens tonight. The worst scenario for me would be to get to the real test (t-minus 6 practices after tonight) and not pass because I wasn’t prepared. Tonight gives us the opportunity to see where we stand, get feedback on our skills, and most importantly, give us the much-needed insight into what we will face in April.

Monday was crushing with a Dicer practice.  After I made the decision to fully focus on health and wellness to really get me where I wanted to go (ie: a derby team / fully focused athlete), I found myself more emotionally attached and more involved in my derby life than ever.  I was connected.  I cared where people were if they didn’t make it to practice.  I wanted to know more about nutrition so I wouldn’t have to keep stopping mid drills to recover.  I wanted to get involved in more of my derby sisters lives so that I could find support and offer the same to them. I wanted to build something bigger than myself. Derby is offering all that and more. No wonder I broke down.

It all started with a bit of a rumor mill / messaging system by word of mouth.  It was said that Dicer was taking over practice that night (which, if you don’t know, you do have to mentally prepare yourself for they are tough!).  I immediately went in stress mode. Looking back on it, I wasted a lot of energy doing that, which probably led to my early fatigue. I know we’re going to be pushed to the limit far beyond a Dicer practice when we pass skills and make a team and by certain graces possibly make a travel team, but shit! I’m no where close to where I wanted to be yet! I stressed out because I wanted to be at a level where Dicer practices no longer scare me but excite me.  I was no where close to that yet, so this night was already looking harsh.

I knew we’d be expected to pull a 25 in 5, which is always stressful.  I wanted just to improve on my time, which I did.  I should have seen that as a happy moment! I had a small victory starting off the night! But I didn’t, I saw that as, ‘oh shit, starting with 25 in 5? What other hell shall be unleashed upon us?!’.  Negative Nancy indeed. Derby Downer most definitely.  Then came some typical practice drills. We’re hitting now so it is pretty stressful.  For me, the hits aren’t so much my focus of the stress as the whole, ‘omfg I’m on some wheels for a very top-heavy person, wtf did I sign up for!?!!?!?’ is. It freaks me out when my skates hit someone else’s skates. I can’t get that leg in front of someone else confidently.  It’s hard to put all the touching, hitting, pushing, speed, and skater stance all together for me. This is my stressing mind at work. I think of everything all at once that should be going into the drill and it psyches me out! It’s like I am finished before I start or something… And then came this ladder toe-stop drill.

The pressure of starting a group with a fancy turn around toe stop motion when I could barely do the move to begin with was hard.  Then to know it would take me almost 3 full minutes to get through a 6 to 8 person (this is seriously small) pace line was just mockable.  Then to have to catch up, take forever, do a shitty toe stop, hold up the line, be unbalanced, have a cramp in my foot, have a loose skate, and still move forward? AWWW HELLZ NAH. I broke down after the third person. I really just wanted to chuck my helmet into a corner and throw a chair. Instead, I had a mini tantrum, cried, “I CAN’T DO THIS!” out loud and proceeded to skate off and cry like a wee lil girl in the corner. I was just SO FREAKING MAD. I was mad I couldn’t get it. I was mad I couldn’t force my foot to stop cramping so I could give it more juice.  I was mad that others were kicking ass at this drill and I wasn’t.  I was mad my body told me no when I told it yes. I was mad because I started to cry, another thing I did NOT give my body permission to do, and I was mad because I was embarrassed at my crying and shitty attitude moment.

I tried to skate off to pout and get it out of my system.  Luckily Reaper was there to give a little encouragement and a little reality to the whole process.  She said told me everything I needed to hear in that moment and focused my attention on practicing the toe stop in a break down progression on the side.  It distracted me enough to get me to stop blubbering and pushed me forward to not give up on the goal of the drill.  After we got through some more drills and the rage subsided, the last drill, a 25 in 5 as a pack came in.  Rage fully engulfed again. Well, maybe not rage, but like desperation. Signing up to play derby is more than rink rash, panty hose, hard hits, and bad ass names. It’s hard fucking work. It’s like a boot camp, but on skates, because that’s what crazies do. They see something dangerous, add more danger to it like wheels, and then they call it Roller Derby. That is what you sign up for. That’s what your life will be like if you stick through the boot camp.  By my 6th lap my body hurt but it was my mind that had enough.  I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. What the freaking hell did I sign up for? Really!?

This is the farthest I had ever gotten to in a derby girl camp. I’ve always given up by the third week due to injuries, schedule conflicts, work needs, blah blah blah.  This is the furthest I have come. I skated off to the side, tried to stretch my chest out (I had fallen earlier on my chest cave and proceeded to knock all the winds out of me) to get some full breathes in and man.. I had to go be a lil beeotch and cry again. I figured it out though. As I shrunk off to the side, I figured out why the pressure got to me.  For the first time EVER, I realized this moment, this time that I had broken down, it was THE pin point moment that I mentally say, “I quit”. It was the moment where I question if what I am doing is worth it.  I didn’t recognize it at first.  I usually brush off the emotion or close it off when I get here and just quit.  This time, though, I stayed. I stayed the rest of the practice despite my breakdown and unconsciously told myself: “Fuck that. I’m not quitting. I have put in too much to give up now”. And it’s true.

I literally just bought knee gaskets and some sick ass bearings and new wheels. Why the hell would I let all that mental energy, all that money, all that time, all my coaches and supporter’s time go to waste? Why? Because it’s hard? Well, duh. I knew it would be hard. I didn’t know it would be THIS hard. I didn’t know in the end I was the one and only thing holding me back from victory. Had I known I was just going to fight myself I would have tried to get that out-of-the-way a long time ago, but SHIT. This is hard. I’m glad I broke through. I am glad I got to the other side. I expect some emotional hiccups in the future but I am seeing it now as a good sign, I am seeing it as a progression to take my evil name Chloroform Cupcake to the next level and earn that bad ass jersey.  If I need a time out to get my mind right I will take that time. It’s my time. I am going to use every failure and pause in practice as a moment to realign my goals and intentions.  I am going to pass my damn skills test eventually, and I am most definitely never ever ever going to give up on myself.

-NiKKi:D

I am finally PARTY POISON!

I passed my skills test and I want to yell it from the mountain tops!

I’ve never happily worked so hard for something I loved so much.

On Wednesday I finally did my 25 laps in 4 minutes and 59 seconds!

I honestly could not have done it without all the support and derby love from the skaters. Since my last skills test there was a month gap before the next freshie boot camp started and I figured if I could trim off about 3 minutes off my time in 3 months then 40 seconds in one month should not be a problem.

Stella Blue and I would meet up for one on one practices at 2 or sometimes 3 times a week, she told me to jog everyday for to build up my endurance, I was wearing my skates at home and working on my crossovers, and going to the local skate park every chance I could. As my second skills test came around the corner Stella let everyone know that I needed some help with contact drills since I was used to practices with just one or sometimes 2 other skaters. And to my surprise 13 girls came out to help me! Some were Vets and some were FAST girls. These girls are at the practice space 3 or 4 times a week and they came out yet another day to help me out. When they could be doing a ton of other things and they took time out of their day to help me out. That actually felt really awesome.

My second skills test I passed everything except the 25 laps in 5 minutes! We even did it again but I had the entire travel team skating behind me encouraging me, pushing me, and telling me when to crossover and it was intense! Still didn’t quite make it though. Almost! I thought I would be bummed after busting my behind to pass and still not making it. But I got a lot of words of encouragement from the travel team and who is better to give advice? Plus since many of them were so excited I had come so far it was hard to leave sad. I was actually pretty pumped to keep working at it!

I worked on my 25 in 5 some more and at one practice I had Anya Marx leading and Susan B. Bruisin behind me pushing me and yelling “How hard have you been working on this?! This is nothing, Claudia! How bad to you want this?!” But then I hit 5 minutes and 12 seconds and that was my best time!

Earlier this week Stella told me to try “speed skating” instead of derby stance a little and I don’t know if that was just it or something more but it shaved off those 12 seconds I had been lacking and I made it! I even texted my big DVS Dicer before I called my mom. Blasted it on facebook and got so many girls responding to how excited they were. Oh man. It feels great. GREAT!

I even had my first FAST girl practice last night and I know that most girls are nervous and I had been told that some girls went home feeling like they weren’t prepared for that and are pretty down about it. But I had worked WAY to hard to feel that I didn’t deserve to be there and even though I have a lot of learning to do nothing is going to get me down.

I’m finally a fast girl. I am finally Party Poison!

Party Poison in training.

Nothing gives me that feeling of accomplishment as much as roller derby does.

I’ve been a “freshie” in SCRG for about 2 and a half months now and even I feel like I have come such a long way.
In the beginning I felt a pretty behind because I basically bought my skates and went to tryouts. I didn’t make it the first round (and had no right to, I knew that) and came back after taking a few beginner classes at Crystal Palace with Warren Peace and was invited back to Freshie practice.
Right away I noticed that everyone else generally knew how to skate and I was still extremely goofy footed. But even after just 2 hours of practice I could always feel how much better I had gotten. I refused to let the fact that I had the least experience get to me. It wasn’t a bad thing it was just a thing, a fact.  And soon I could hold my own with the other girls. The only things I really struggled with were crossovers, 25 in 5, and stopping (t stops and plow stops right now).
The first time I did the 25 in 5 it was more like 25 in almost 9 minutes and it was so embarrassing to finish so far behind everyone else but the the harder I worked the faster I got and I would just shave 1 whole minute off the time and then now I am down to 5 minutes and 40 seconds. That seems to be where I am stuck but I know once I nail that crossover it won’t be any trouble at all.
I finally started breaking through when Bone Eata told me to do crossovers in my shoes when I am walking. Instead of  turning a corner normally, do a crossover. So I started doing that and the next practice I finally could lift my skate and place it in front of the other. Unfortunately, this was a week before skills and I hadn’t improved my time yet so I knew that I most likely would not be passing. But I also didn’t expect to be the only one not passing. I mean there is no way that I wanted anyone else to “not pass” with me and I was so excited for everyone but I was surprisingly upset when I got in my car.
But anyway, Stella Blue (our Freshie coach) has been still having practices for me and inviting FAST girls and anyone who wants to get a good endurance practice in so I’ve been skating with different girls. DVS Dicer (who happens to be my big and also happens to be super rad) has also lead a practice or two since skills.

But today was super awesome because it was just Stella and I having a one on one practice at the Fab Lab. A few other girls were supposed to come out but ended up not making it. So I did some laps and warm ups ad Stella showed me a video tutorial and demonstrated what it went over. So I went for it and actually did and and STELLA STARTED CRYING! I didn’t believe it at first but I skated over to her and tears were literally coming down from her eyes. I was/am so so so so touched! She even posted this on facebook “Shared a GREAT one on one practice session with Claudia PartyPoison Ramirez. I’m SO PROUD of those crossovers Girl!”
Ahhhh! It makes me so happy!

Skills test, here I come!

Welcome to Sin City Rollergirls Fresh Meat Files

This blogs will serve as an outlet for SCRG’s fresh meat skaters as they share their ups and downs of learning how to be a real rollergirl.